Monday, November 23, 2009

A representative sample

A wholly negatively stereotyped sample of the inner monologue of some assorted humans in a warzone.

from l to r:

“I can’t believe how incredible this feels! Six months ago I was nothing and now look at what I’ve helped accomplish. What he made me accomplish.”

To convince men to follow you, first convince them to admire you. Does that sound good or too pretentious? I have to get a bronze star for this. No way the brass can deny what I accomplished today. I need one of those MacArthuresque speeches to dazzle all the uniforms with the bright lights of my military brilliance. Maybe then I can get a promotion out of this shithole. Maybe some bullshit about “liberation” that always goes over . . “

“That fat bitch better back the fuck off. I ‘ll be goddamned if I’m gonna go back to blowing a staff sergeant to try and get private quarters”

“What a stone-cold motherfucker! He didn’t even wait for the order from CENTCOM, he just blew the whole town straight to hell. He even let us pick off the stragglers with the anti aircraft guns. There was nothing left but red mist. This is the best day of my life.”

“This is a complete mess, but if it works it was worth it. It’s time for those people to step and take some responsibility for rebuilding this country. We did our job.”

“ . .ICECREM . . “