"A teenage girl wandered up to me and demanded, 'SMELL ME!'. I hesitantly sniffed and replied 'You smell like cigarettes'. 'Great!' she exclaimed. 'I've been figured out'. She huffed away ready to perpetuate her angst on the next unsuspecting victim. I lied. She smelled not only like cigarettes, but possessed the underlying acrid, musty smell of a food service worker that lacks the self awareness to engage in the hygiene the social contract demands."